My 27th Birthday (Explicit)

Everything's fine
Look
White fish on the coast of the Caribbean my life is a film
Hero and villain I'm playin' both in the script
Worthy of Spielberg or Christopher Nolan readin'
The constant overachievin' I know
I ain't as rich as them people with old money but I didn't know money
They mock me online for speakin' up on all of our issues
And bein' vocal the **** that I see on socials
But how can I stay silent when when?
I'm out in Barbados white people mistreatin' locals
The villa in Jamaica but it's owned by the Chinese
Head to the right beach and they're chargin' us five each
They say "The Caribbean paradise like why leave?"
But how can I be silent when there's blood on the pine trees?
Most of us would sacrifice our soul for the right fees
Before I find love I'm just prayin' I find peace
Before I find love I'm just prayin' I find peace
You know what I believe I don't know if I handled it well
It's **** Coca-Cola did I stop drinkin' Fanta as well?
I could see the blood on the lyrics I write for myself
I cried about slavery then went to Dubai with my girl
Surely I ain't part of the problem I lied to myself
Jewels that my people die for are a sign of my wealth
My work is a physical weight of my life and my health
The last couple years felt like I been inside on a shelf
I just phoned Cench and I said "You inspired myself"
I don't feel a spot of jealousy inside of myself
But when I'm all alone I won't lie I question myself
Am I self-destructive?
Am I doin' the best for myself?
I know I love music but I question the rest of myself
Like why don't you post pictures or why don't you drop music?
Or why not do somethin' but sittin' and stressin' yourself
Ten years I been in the game and I won't lie it's gettin' difficult
This **** used to be spiritual
We don't need no commentators we could leave that to the sports
Just listen to the music why do you need somebody's thoughts?
And some of it's constructive but most of it is forced
And why we countin' the numbers how the music make you feel?
I'm just bein' real
Alright
Yeah white fish on the coast of the Caribbean my life is a film
Hero and villain I'm playin' both in the script
Worthy of Oscar and Hollywood nominations
I'm throwin' money at women in different denominations and killin' the conversation
All them people told me "Keep grindin' be patient"
It's weird bein' famous tryna navigate the spaces
Feel like a celebrity but you ain't on the A-list
And you never drop so you ain't really on the playlist
But your fans love you you can see it on their faces
America feels so close that you can taste it
2017 was tryna make it to the ranges
2025 I'm tryna make it to the Granges
How do I explain me and my soulmate are strangers
That we've already met
And I've known her for ages?
How do I explain because I'm runnin' out of pages?
How do I explain South London and its dangers?
Can't recall the last time that we was all together but
All I can remember the Olympics was in Beijing
Move to Dubai that's for the taxes that they takin'
Or move to Qatar feel the breeze on the beach
But how can I explain to my kids that it's fake wind?
Free but I'm broke have me feelin' like I'm caged in
How do I explain two pounds got you eight wings?
How do I explain my opps lost but we ain't win?
Girls I'm around had surgery on their hips
How do I explain that I love her the way she is?
How do I explain my feelings on having kids?
That it wasn't what it was but it is what it is
How do I explain my niggas are in the hood?
And they don't ask for nothin' even though they know they could
'Cause they'd rather trap rob and get it on their own
How do I explain these messages on my phone?
I just got a call my girl's sittin' in the car
And it says "Serge" but Serge with us in the car
I know I might sound like a villain from afar
How do I explain that my mechanic is a chick?
Or why she callin' me
When I don't even own a whip because my licence is revoked?
I mean how do I explain
That I don't want a hill 'cause my identity is pain?
How do I explain I mean how do I explain?
I went and hit the streets because I didn't want a boss
I ended up a worker I was barely gettin' paid
For someone that was two years above me in my age
I didn't even find it strange I mean how do I explain?
Yeah
Fifty-two miles from Marseilles I'm in Miraval
Four years seventeen days I ain't been around
I can't lie it even shocks me that I'm still around
I can't lie it even shocks me how I'm livin' now
Starin' at this Rachel Jones painting I'm sittin' down
The last thing I drew was a weapon I'm livin' wild
Turned twenty-seven but I feel like I'm still a child
In this house out in Central London I can barely afford
Six months sober and I feel like I'm Dave again
Drinkin' all my pain and my sorrows away again
I got withdrawal symptoms but they happen at ATMs
Next two years I'll be lookin' at ATMs
Who's the best artist in the world? I'm sayin' Tems
Maybe James Blake or Jim on the day depends
Let's see who quits now we ain't gettin' paid again yeah
I'm just here drinkin' liquor by myself
Is my music just becomin' a depiction of my wealth?
Never trust a girl whose lock screen's a picture of herself
I had to learn that **** myself
Now I'm sittin' by myself with no girl like ****
I really did this to myself
Twenty-seven and I'm terrified of livin' by myself
'Cause there's a kid inside myself I haven't healed
And me and him debate each other
I can't love myself I'm made from two people that hate each other
My parents couldn't even save each other made each other unhappy
Used to be excited by the block but size doesn't matter
You supplying it or not?
Sling a shot
I could have really killed a giant with a rock
But that's a life that I forgot
And my young boys are slidin' over what?
I don't know 'cause I ain't spoke to him in time
Been afraid of gettin' older scared of bein' left behind
And then I tsk and then I question will I live my life in resent?
Is anybody ever gonna take my kindness for strength?
I gave Tisha the world it weren't enough and then she went
Everybody's makin' content but nobody's content
Safe space can I vent?
It crept up
My girl cheated on me when I was next up
It made me want her even more man it's messed up
I still walk around the Vale with my chest out
I don't wanna leave my house because I'm stressed out
You done me dirty and you didn't even tell a lie
It ain't about what you said it's what you left out
My whole life I been feelin' like I'm left out
If you **** another girl she say you cheated on her
And if she **** another man she say she stepped out
And if you askin' 'bout Dave they say "The best out"
Yeah and I survived all these eras cah I barely made any
I'm just speakin' how I feel
Yeah ****** up speakin' how I feel
Recordin' the morning I ain't even had a meal
I dropped Joni home and fell asleep behind the wheel
Drivin' at a hundred an hour I switched gears
I ain't spoke to 169 in six years
Don't even get me started on this ****'* weird
Call me what you want but with music I'm sincere
You wanna know the reason it's taken me four years?
It's not 'cause I'm surrounded by yes-men and sycophants
It's 'cause I'm with producers and people that give a damn
It's me who's gotta carry the pressure I live with that
All I thought about was the song we could give the fans
When I was out there gettin' stood up by artists I'm bigger than
I don't want no girls around when my nieces they visit man
They might see the way that I'm livin' I figured that
I wanna be a good man but I wanna be myself too
And I don't think that I can do both so I can't let her too close
It hurts but I'm still movin'
Feel like it's me versus me and I'm still losin'
Yo my boy it's Josiah what you sayin'
You know I'ma have to check you on your ******* birthday my boy
More life my guy
Man soon out don't even watch that
What you sayin' though bro?
I know you got space on one of them eight-minute
Nine-minute tracks to give man a shoutout
Tell the people'dem my story
Dem man already know what I was on the mandem know man
C'mon bro I know you got me
Aight lastly my sis' Tamah
I beg you check in with her please make sure she's blessed
While I'm gone make sure she's safe
Ayy soon home my boy love