175 Months (Explicit)

Father God forgive me
It's been a couple years or maybe more that I ain't prayed
Even longer I ain't been to church God I'm ashamed
Embarrassed of my ways but still I'm asking for Your grace
Feel like I've been led astray
By the drinking and the spirits I let take me when I write
And the ladies of the night
Most people they got demons I got angels that I fight
Tryna to save me from my plight I pray I make it to the light
South London where we lie
Abdullah died at sixteen and I still feel that same rage
'Cah we all getting older and he's still the same age
It's his tweny-seventh birthday in this pic he's fourteen
Back when we would all dream
And Stephanie she lived at 14
And he lived at number 17 and I was number 12
When I used to think that if I skip church I'd go to hell
So when they ask about grief and how it feels I know it well
I missed his tenth anniversary in 2024
I know the value of this picture we ain't getting any more
Then I go and I get angry God like "Why'd You take him for?
He was just a baby all—" these emotions that I'm feeling
It's the strength I pray for
God for anyone that's with us that can vouch I pray for
Pray that I feel less lonely in this house I prayed for
I pray that
With this cross that you bear on me
Can you look after my mum? She probably used her last prayer on me
Can't let the devil in there's repentance in the Bible
God remind my exodus feel like we was meant for this
Moved mountains and boulders
We at them ages where our parents getting older
May they never need a shoulder
I done **** I can't condone wrote sermons on my own
I'm in church more worried 'bout the service on my phone
And on Judgement Day are You gonna write it in my sins?
'Cah my nigga he got cancer and I'm lying to his kids
God I'm trying but it hits me in my heart
I done lost so many niggas that's been with me from the start
Then I pray for quick change and I ain't even try fast
All I ever did was ask shattered glass crucifixes on my chest
Pray to purchase a Patek for my church ain't cut a cheque
How I'm tryna pray for Congo with these diamonds on my neck?
As a father and as a son
Pray that I can show him how to love a woman through his mum
Because I never got the chance and I just want the best
For my three little nieces that I carry on my chest
I'm praying for my managers I'm praying for their wives
'Cause God knows that they're the ones that sacrificed their lives
I would have said their names but God but You know who I mean
I'm praying for my brothers God protect us on the streets
I had the steak and Carbone and didn't pray before I eat
It's like I call You when I need You when I don't we don't speak
Ground rules for my niggas found schools back at Lambeth Town Hall
I helped him pray but didn't know that it was on my downfall
So when I'm ice cold with no blood inside my veins
Numbers on my days will I say I love this life of rain?
I'm just praying that my purpose can justify my pain
I'm just praying that my purpose can justify my pain
My mum used to creep in my room and put oil and a cross on my head
Anoint me and probably read a verse like Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd
And maybe Matthew 4 the word is my weapon tonight
If I can't pray for peace then I just pray we win the war
It's been twenty-six years I don't know what I'm fighting for
Well maybe it's a place to feel Your everlasting light
In a world where kids that die get a second chance at life Christ
I don't know what to say to You I pray that You
Forgive me for the days I had a reason to
And I ain't have faith in You
You did it for the sake of me and how I forsaken You?
I prayed for new shoes and I used them to walk away from You
We made it out of drugs swapped the pen for the needles
And I just found a different way to poison my people
You could say it's testimony that I'm telling them my story
But how we selling them the devil
Still giving God the glory can I pray?