Drama (Explicit)

Like man was saying, bruv
Many nights man prayed, bruv
Somewhere someone's gonna help me through this, man
Someone is gonna help bring me out of this shit, y'know?
Time, it took a while for man to recognise,
Boy, who you were gonna send
And you know what? Mans, I'm very proud
I'm very happy to see it's one of my own init, y'know?
And boy, I know none of this is easy, y'know?
I'm just proud to be,
To be witnessing what's going on, man, y'know?
Look
I don't know where to start
But I just done my first psychodrama
And I hope the world hears my craft
I'm excited man, I pray you get to hear my craft
From our childhood, our mother didn't hear me laugh
I'm presenting you the future, I don't fear my past
I ain't got a tattoo anywhere near my arms
But best believe on my sleeves is where I wear my heart
Do you know how easy it is to be a sinner?
How many losses you need before you can be a winner?
Reason with a criminal that needs to eat a dinner
Is it survival of the fittest or is he a killer?
Losing dad was big, losing you was even bigger
Never had a father and I needed you to be the figure
We're forgetting that we had a brother that was even bigger
We were figures just tryna figure out who could be a figure
My brothers never spoke to each other when I was growing up
I remember tryna to build a bridge, I wasn't old enough
I pray I hold the game for as long as you man can hold a grudge
Years went by I know it's ****ed,
I had to hold it up for mummy on my own
I know it's tough, I got the coldest blood
I remember when you got sentenced and I was throwing up
It's like they took a piece of my freedom when I had opened up
I just lost the only ****ing person that I idolised
For my entire life I copied you down to the finest line
Bro, I got a flame in my mind I'm trying to firefight
The pill I had to swallow wasn't bitter, it was cyanide
I learn over time, separation issues I describe
Are probably the reasons that I struggle feeling anything
I ain't got a vision of a marriage or a wedding ring
It's world domination in music or it ain't anything
I'm obsessed, focused on the objective
Tell a don yes, disagree, I object
Used to treat my women like an object
Girls want a monster come and see I'm the Loch Ness
Settle for a lot less
I just hope you're proud of me brother,
It's been a long stretch
You're my hero and prior to this,
I was living on the edge like a house on a cliff
But now I'm living in the present like my house was a gift
I'm going psycho, this scene's mine bro
Rappers wanna diss me, it's only online though
They put the mic and soft in the micro
Soft? Not I, bro
Swimming's the only time I can lie though
And lemme be genuine
Anybody rich my age is American, kicking ball or inherited
It only makes sense I'm independent knowing
Everything it happened how I'm telling it
You niggas aren't getting it
I'm coming from the struggle I survived and I'm still here
Used to bump trains that's two ways, I don't feel fear
I don't know trust, I know a tight bond will tear
Like a good wig, I can't tell you if it's real here
I'm from south London, brother, people getting killed here
You can make a mill'
But you can lose it if you're still here
I lost over 30 grand to family, I'm still here
The word don't appeal to me,
You steal from me I'm still here
Bro, I wasn't made for this
I don't get a break, but I'm aware of what breaking is
I wish you could take a hint as well as you can take the piss
I don't even speak to our brother, man, I just pray for him
It's never too late for him
Life is at it's craziness, walls started caving in
All the things I've seen would turn a theist, atheist
I didn't get 99 marks in English, I was faking it
I got 98 ‘cause I don't know what a vacation is
If you saw God what would you say to him?
If given the chance would you have taken it?
If you could rewind time what would you change in it?
Do you believe in what an angel is?
Furthermore, do you believe in what the devil is?
Do you believe that I can illustrate what Streatham is,
Then break the fourth wall and base Lesley on my relatives?
I'm grateful for my life because I aimed for this
Every bad moment every single ****ing day of this
People looking at me, that's what fame can bring
But to understand the stairs,
You take steps then retrace the shit
I tell my circle, the future's ours, we're shaping it
The past is just the reason I had came to this
I thank God for the pain because it made me this
I don't know if you remember those days, bruv
In them days, there was one night in particular, bruv
Came home and for some reason man put on a beat
We were just in the front room, freestyling, bar for bar
I don't even know how old you was these times, bruv
Probably about, hmm, ten? Ten, nine?
Yeah, man, if I think about it now,
Think about the transition
Them days there, you had no bars
But let’s be real, did anyone, bruv?
You know what I mean, it’s called context, bruv
But, it was mad fun, bruv
But the stuff nowadays today, it’s proper, man
You know what I mean, man
Thinking man's definitely blessed to see
How the whole thing's come together
From time, I think it was 'JKYL+HYD' man,
You played man that one there
Man was thinking, "Yo, this one here is a banger", bruv
I remember when I heard that one live
On the airwaves for the first time bruv, we was pumping it
Man come to my door was like,
"Rah man, that's a bit loud you know?"
I'm like, "Fam, that's my brudda"
He was like, "Yeah?"
And you know, on your birthday, man sent you a little card
And it begins
'Jesse made seven of his sons pass before Samuel,
But Samuel said to him, "The Lord has not chosen these."
So he asked Jesse, "Are these all the sons you have?"
"There is still the youngest,"
Jesse answered, "but he's tending the sheep."
Samuel said, "Send for him,
We will not sit down to eat until he arrives."
So he sent and had him brought in. He was ruddy,
With a fine appearance and handsome features
And then the Lord said, "Rise and anoint him, he's the one."'
Bro, you know what that means?
Say no more man