Couch Potato (Parody of "Lose Yourself" by Eminem)

Look
If you had
One shot
To sit on your lazy butt
And watch all the TV you ever wanted
Until your brain turned to mush
Would you go for it
Or just let it slip
Yo
Remote is ready
Eyes wide palms are sweaty
There's Flintstones on the TV already
Wilma 'n' Betty
No virgin to channel surfing
And I'm HD ready
So I flip
Garbage is all I'm getting
There's Simon Cowell
Who folks wanna disembowel
He opens his mouth
Always says something foul
They're dying wow
Wannabes are crying now
He votes them out
Time to throw in the towel
Shows based on reality
Oh the humanity
Oh ozzy's family
Sho' loves profanity
Whoa the insanity
Oh dogs that crap and pee
Home of depravity
No they live happily
Yo
Plus da Ali g show
And celebrity mole
Oh and there's Anna Nicole
Well she's scaring me
Look ma no cavities
Oh it's a station break
Better go out to the kitchen and microwave something
You're gonna lose your mind watching' TV they told me they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show show
My cable gets c-span TV-land and hbo
The travel channel discovery and lifetime yo
You're gonna lose your mind watching' TV
They told me cajoled me turn off those music videos no
I'm gonna watch c-span TV-land and hbo
The history channel and QVC and lifetime yo
You're gonna
My butt is aching
As I watch NASCAR racing
That show about undertaking
Larry king
To 24 to law and order
The weather channel's boring like 60 minutes's ancient reporters
Next up one true Hollywood story
The rise and decline of twelve actors named Corey
Shows for next fall they've already been naming
Csi Boise and touched by an uncle both sound pretty lame 'n'
So does everybody tolerates Raymond
And king of queens jumped the shark the first minute
I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it
I'll move right on to 8 simple rules for dating my teenaged daughter
Then I bet
I watch the bachelorette
Followed by welcome back kotter
And the Muppet show where they go 'Mahan Mahan'
You're gonna lose your mind watching TV
They told me they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show show
My cable gets c-span TV-land and HBO
The Disney channel and age and lifetime yo
You're gonna lose your mind watching TV
They told me cajoled me
But I still love Lisa kudrow drow
I'm looking at c-span TV-land and HBO
The playboy channel and court TV and lifetime yo
You're gonna
Never missed Melrose place or lost in space
I've seen each amazing race and without a trace
But I only watched will and grace one time one day
Wish I hadn't 'cause TiVo now thinks I'm gay
Oh and fear factor I watched maybe a half hour
After that felt like I needed a long shower
Network execs with naked ambitions
Next week on fox watch lions eat Christians
Like to tie up those programming planners
Make 'em watch all of that junk 'til their heads explode just like scanners
Leech-covered grub-eating fools on survivor
Look there's James Lipton discussing the oeuvre of mar rob Schneider
And there's Gilligan and SpongeBob plus there's MacGyver
And jay leno has got Madonna hey there's Luke Perry on a
Special all pig-Latin episode of drew care
Wanna turn on ET 'cause I'm a gossip freak
And I gotta know who J lo is marrying this week
A 30 second spot
Then we come back to are you hot
I was planning on recording the sopranos
I forgot
I love shows with or without a plot
I'll stare 'til my legs are numb my eyes bloodshot
Because I only have got
One brain to rot
I'm gonna spend my life watching television a lot
You're gonna lose your mind watching TV
They told me they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show show
My cable gets c-span TV-land and HBO
The sci-fi channel and amc and lifetime yo
You're gonna lose your mind watching TV
They told me cajoled me turn off that Oprah winfrey show no
I got it on c-span TV-land and HBO
The learning channel and MTV and lifetime yo
You're gonna
You can watch anything you want to man