The Lady's Paying

Hurry up the birthday boy is on his way
This is a surprise celebration
I hope you've remembered everything I've said
I want to see a total transformation
Joe：
What's all this
Norma：
Happy birthday darling
Did you think we'd forgotten
Joe：
Well I don't know
Norma：
These people are from the best men's shop in town
I had them close it down for a day
Joe：
Norma now listen
Norma：
I'll leave you boys to it
Manfred：
Happy birthday welcome to your shopathon
Joe：
What's going on
Manfred：
Help yourself it's all been taken care of
Anyone who's anyone is dressed by me
Joe：
Well golly gee
Manfred：
Pick out anything you like a pair of
You just point I'll do the rest
I have brought nothing but the best
You're a very lucky writer
Come along now get undressed
Unless I'm much mistaken
That's a 42 inch chest
Joe：
I don't understand a word you're saying
Manfred：
Well all you need to know's the lady's paying
It's nice to get your just reward this time of year
Joe：
Get out of here
Manfred：
And all my merchandise is strictly Kosher
When you've thrown away all your old worn out stuff
Joe：
Hey that's enough
Manfred：
Perhaps you'd like to model for my brochure
I have just a thing for you chalk stripe suits
Salesman：
In black
Or blue
Glen paid trousers
Cashmere sweaters
Bathing shorts for Malibu
Here's a patent leather lace up
It's a virtuoso shoe
Manfred：
And a simply marvelous coat made of vicuna
Joe：
You know what you can do with your vicuna
Norma：
Come on Joe you haven't even started yet
Joe：
You wanna bet
Norma：
I thought by now he'd look the height of fashion
He always takes forever making up his mind don't be unkind
I thought you writer knew about compassion
I love Flannel on a man
Manfred：
This will complement his tan
Norma：
We'll take two of these and four of those
Manfred：
I'm still your greatest fan
Very soon now we'll have stopped him looking like an also ran
Joe：
You're going to make me sorry that I'm staying
Norma：
Well all right I'll choose after all I'm paying
Manfred：
Evening clothes
Norma：
I want to see your most deluxe
Joe：
Won't wear a tux
Norma：
Of course not dear tuxedos are for waiters
Manfred：
What we need are tails a white tie and top hat
Joe：
I can't wear that
Norma：
Joe second rate clothes are for second raters
Joe：
Norma please
Norma：
Shut up I'm rich
Not some platinum blonde B***h
I own so many apartments
I've forgotten which is which
Joe：
I don't have to go to premieres
I'm never on display
You seem to forget that I'm a writer
Who cares what you wear when you're a writer
Norma：
I care Joe and please don't be so mean to me
Joe：
OK all right
Norma：
You can't come to my New Year's Eve party
In that filling station shirt
Joe：
I've been invited somewhere else on New Year's Eve
Norma：
Where
Joe：
Artie Green
He's an old friend of mine
Norma：
I can't do without you Joe I need you
I've sent out every single invitation
Joe：
All right Norma I give in
Norma：
Of course you do
And when they've dressed you
You'll cause a sensation
Salesmen：
We equip the chosen few of movieland
Manfred：
The latest cut
Salesmen：
We dress every movie star and crooner
From their shiny toecaps to their hatband
Manfred：
Conceal your gut
You won't regret selecting the vicuna
Salesmen：
If you need a hand to shake
If there's a girl you want to make
If there's a soul you're out to capture
Or a heart you want to break
If you want the world to love you
Manfred：
You'll have to learn to take
Salesmen：
And gracefully accept the role you're playing
Manfred：
You will earn every cent the lady's paying
Salesmen：
So why not have it all
Manfred：
Now that didn't hurt did it
Salesmen：
The lady's paying