Thoughts (Explicit)

I keep on pacing up and down the room
And I keep looking at this f**kin' rope
My mama text me sayin' see you soon
But will I make it I don't know
I don't wanna die but I also don't wanna hurt
Found a pot of gold but still feel like
I need to search word
Success ain't everything that I assumed
'Cause I feel lonely in these crowded rooms mmh
Can't even tell if it's plastic or real
They love me but I feel inadequate still
I mean I try to stay focused and ignore it
But the pressure will build
Will be ashamed if I don't set up my kids
I mean I'm booming right now but
How long is my reign gon' last mmh
I feel like I'm one wrong step
Away from becoming the same old Cass mmh
I don't wanna go back
Wanna move forward but I don't have all the energy
Especially when friends is busy siding with enemies
Thought you knew me better than all these made up analogies
How could I be happy when everybody is mad at me
You could tell I'm lonely by all these memes in my gallery
Busy burning bridges when I should be burning calories
Wishin' that we all came with rechargable batteries
Wanna end it all but gotta think of my family
F**k
Now I'm forced to smile with n***as like Scoop mmh mmh
Who don't love me like they say that they do mmh mmh
I can see it in the way that they move mmh mmh
N***as do you false and say they livin' they truth
Who got receipts for what a prayer do uh
You let me fall that let me know
That I'm unbreakable uh
Your sink full that let me know
How that ate at you uh
Come see my plate and all
The s**t they make me cater to uh
It ain't no space for you
'Cause I done been confined to it uh
Ain't nothing perfect like my vessel if I fine-tune it uh
Man I been thirsty than a b***h been tryna find fluid uh
I got a waterfall to find out that it's diluted uh
I see the sun inside my son
So I been super shaded but illuminated uh
Can't do this self so I went super Saiyan uh
My Neo-Soul can make it through the Matrix woah woah
Clear through my basement I been fumigated
This s**t got me buggin' uh
I'm still the slave I got a noose inside my stomach uh
My free shackles turn the jewellery for the function uh
My self destruction look like something-something-something uh
And I fear God but tell
The devil we could run it uh
Your inner beauty never paid you truth is ugly huh
I'm so confused I see the darkness when the sun is out
Yo tell the truth when we meet you just see money huh
It's been a minute since I fell in love
Been soul searchin' I been meaning to tell
Was unavailable they needed my help
See I convinced the whole d**n world to believe in me bruh
When I don't even believe in myself
I'm not as honest as you think I am
I'm just as filtered as your Instagram
I mean I'm really mean just with a bit of trickery
I don't trust a soul I be like Mr Bean Shhh
My spirit the reason people look up sort of like Listerine
Scratch beneath the surface
No matter how I word it
Could never tell the truth to my fans they think I'm perfect
I know I'm real and I know I'm fake
Don't know my fate but I know my faith
Tryna control my pace
Believe in God and the pearly gates
So if I die I hope my soul you take
I know that heaven is a stretch but
I'm hoping that you hold my place
I know I'll make it though I made mistakes
Father protect me when I walk through
The shadows of the valley of death
With no fear of the darkness though I'm hearing the threats
When I walk through the shadows of the valley of death
With no fear of the darkness say that s**t with my chest