everything

I'm old enough to feel old
But young enough to die alone
And that's a scary thought to have
When you don't wanna die at all
And I wanted everything I have
Take a look to the past
I had wanted so much
Just to find it doesn't last
It's more than just a habit
If you see it you can grab it
But you know it when it hurts
This is my attempt to find the words
It's not a hymn it's not a song
That you grew up singing in church
This one's a little bit louder
And it's a little bit worse
It's all it's not it's all it's nothing
It's something harder to find
The thought of biting that bullet
Shot out of sight and out of mind
It's not just anything
Because it's love it's sex it's life it's death
That lie you told under your breath
The last drag of a cigarette
It's everything it's all it is
It's all it is
It's not a hymn it's not a song
That you grew up singing in church
This one's a little bit louder
And it's a little bit worse
It's all it's not it's all it's nothing
It's something harder to find
The thought of biting that bullet
Shot out of sight and out of mind
It's not just anything
Because it's love it's sex it's life it's death
That lie you told under your breath
The last drag of a cigarette
It's everything it's all it is
It's God in drag it's time that's passed
The call you got about your dad
The softest touch a taxi cab
It's everything it's all it is