Mansion

Insidious is blind inception
What's reality with all these questions
Feels like I missed my alarm slept in slept in
Broken legs but I chase perfection
These walls are my blank expression
My mind is a home I'm trapped in
And it's lonely inside this mansion mansion mansion
Yo my mind is a house with walls covered in lyrics
They're all over the place
There's songs in the mirrors
Written all over the floors all over the chairs
You get the uncut version of life
When I go downstairs
That's where I write when I'm in a bad
Place and need to release
And let out the version of NF you don't want to see
I put holes in the walls with both
Of my fists 'til they bleed
You might get a glimpse of how
I cope with all this anger in me
Physically abused now that's the room that
I don't want to be in
That picture ain't blurry at all
I just don't want to see it
These walls ain't blank I just think
I don't want to see 'em
But why not I'm in here so I might as well read 'em
I gotta thank you for this anger that I carry around
Wish I could take a match and burn this
Whole room to the ground
Matter of fact I think Ima burn this room right now
So now this memory for some reason just won't come down
You used to put me in the corner so you could
See the fear in my eyes
Then took me downstairs and beat me 'til
I screamed and I cried
Congratulations you'll always have a room in my mind
But Ima keep the door shut and lock the lyrics inside
Insidious is blind inception
What's reality with all these questions
Feels like I missed my alarm slept in slept in slept in
Slept in broken legs but I chase perfection
These walls are my blank expression
My mind is a home I'm trapped in
And it's lonely inside this mansion inside this mansion
Yo my mind is a house with walls covered in pain
See my problem is I don't fix things
I just try to repaint cover em up like it never happen
Say I wish I could change
Are you confused
Come upstairs and I'll show you what I mean
This room's full of regrets just
Keeps getting fuller it seems
The moment I walk in to it's the same moment
That I wanna leave
I get sick to my stomach every time
I look at these things
But it's hard to look past when this is the room
Where I sleep
I look around one of the worst things
I wrote on these walls
Was the moment I realized that I was losing my mom
And one of the first things I wrote was
I was shot with a call
But I should just stop now we ain't
Got enough room in this song
And I regret the fact that I struggled
Trying to find who I am
And I lie to myself and say I do the best that I can
Shrug it off like it ain't nothing like
It's out of my hands
Then get ticked off whenever I see it affecting my plans
And I regret watching these trust issues eat me alive
And at the rate I'm going probably
Still be there when I die
Congratulations you'll always have a room in my mind
The question is will I ever clean the walls off in time
Insidious is blind inception
What's reality with all these questions
Feels like I missed my alarm slept in slept in slept in
Slept in broken legs but I chase perfection
These walls are my blank expression
My mind is a home I'm trapped in
And it's lonely inside this mansion inside this mansion
So this part of my house no one's been in it for years
I built the safe room and I don't let no one in there
Cause if I do there's a chance
That they might disappear and not come back
And I admit I am emotionally scared to let anyone inside
So I just leave my doors locked
You might get other doors to open up this doors not
I don't want you to have the opportunity to hurt me
And I'll be the only person that I can blame
When you desert me
I'm barricaded inside
So stop watching
I'm not coming to the door
So stop knocking stop knocking
I'm trapped here
God keep saying I'm not locked in
I chose this
I am lost in my own conscious
I know that shutting the wall down ain't solving the problem
But I didn't build this house because
I thought it would solve 'em
I built it because I thought that
It would be safer in there
But it's not I'm not the only thing
That's living in here
Fear came to my house years ago I let 'em in
Maybe that's the problem
'Cause I've been dealing with this ever since
I thought that he would leave but
It's obvious he never did
He must picked the room and got
Comfortable and settled in
Now I'm in the position
It's either sit here and let him win
Or put him back outside
Where he came from but I never can
'Cause in order to do that I'd have to open the doors
Is that me or the fear talking
I don't know anymore
It's lonly inside inside
It's lonly
It's lonly oh yeah
It's lonly inside this mansion