I DON'T CARE (Explicit)

Everybody loves a winner winner
Yeah I swear they only love me when I'm not there
I know you trust me but I don't care
I swear that I don't care
I know you love me but I don't
You know I was born up at the top floor uh
But I came out at the basement uh
Mom wanted me to be a doctor uh
But I came out as a patient uh
Now I get a thousand D ms everyday
I had a fan telling me that I saved him
Saying that he loving everything I make
And I couldn't take a single second out my day
To make his
I'm just getting number everytime I see my numbers
Everytime I see the bottom
Everytime we see each other
Everytime I pop a bottle
Everytime I hit the lotto
Everytime I see tomorrow
I just really want another
I'm just stuck between the gutter in the rain
It ain't pain that I'm feeling
But it's something in the same kinda vein
That I'm healing from
I wonder why I feel so little
'Cause I ain't been on the top
I think I'm somewhere in the middle
I swear they only love me when I'm not there
I know you trust me but I don't care
I swear that I don't care
I know you love me but I don't care
So what so what so what
Hole on my soul that s**t looking like a donut yeah
You and me can laugh together
But I don't think that that's going to put it back together
I've been living like I'm stuck under the covers
I know this'll make 'em proud
But I know they gon' need another
And another and another and another and another
Like I'm D J Khaled with a motherf**kin' stuttter okay yeah
Today I woke up grabbed my phone to check the 'gram
I started scrolling
Got a message from a dude without a profile picture
S**t was long as f**k I thought that he was trolling
So I tried to swipe it out but accidentally must of opened
I said f**k it guess I'll read it now
That it's already loaded
Had a sudden premonition but it faded in the moment
So I focused started reading
Lemme try my best to quote it
As he wrote it it said
My homie was a huge f**king fan
Used to play your s**t everyday
He struggled with depression and he told me that
The music was the thing that always set him straight
But I guess it must have gotten too much for him
Killed himself a couple months back it's felt so f**king long
But it reminded me of him
When you popped up on my page
And I went and started listening to a couple songs so
Keep doing you bro
He followed up with a post from his friend
It was a screenshot of my track
I clicked the profile full of R I Ps in the comments
S**t I couldn't even stomach looking at but all the sudden
In the instant everything felt grimmer
Read the name again and realised it sounded familiar
Clicked the D M to see
If he had talked to me before
Saw this was the same kid
I consciously ignored a couple months ago
I swear they only love me when I'm not there
I know you trust me but I don't care
I swear that I don't care
I know you love me but I don't care
Apathy
There's no reason to be mad at me
That's just how it has to be