SONIA (Explicit)

Once upon a time little girl on the grind
Met a boy he was nice at the time
Weeks from the days plans they were made
Soon you could call them an item
Funny how a title makes them think they own you
Tellin' you how to dress and who to talk to
Fella please don't nobody ask you
My great great granny was born a slave
She found liberation before the grave
Who you tellin' how to behave
Ooh I'm trying to forgive but can't forget
It was bad it was bad
It was bad it was bad
It was the crying that was bad
It was the crying that was
It was the lying that was bad
It was the lying that was
It was the blaming that was bad
It was the blaming that was
The self-hating that was bad
The self-hating that was
It was the waiting that was bad
It was the waiting that was
It was the doubting that was bad
It was the doubting that was
It was the screaming that was bad
It was the screaming that was
The fear of leaving that was bad
The fear of leaving that was
Uh uh uh yo
Once upon a time I believed in lines
Like I just wasn't good enough for you and other lies
Mr. didn't miss the water 'til the well was dry
Tried and I tried compromise compromise
It was pouring into you while emptying me
It was rationalizing all your toxicity
It was hands around my neck with us on my back
It was pressure pain and panic attacks
Had me faded to the wire putting out my fire
Use to have requirements that turned into desires
Expected to retire me while keeping you inspired
All the women in me are tired
Listen n***a
My abuela ain't survive several trips around the sun
So I could give it to somebody's undeserving son
This p***y don't pop for you booty don't bop for you
Never owe none belong to no one
Now I only trust patterns not apologies
First date questions what's your ideologies
Do you love yourself
Are you healing your trauma
What's your concept of wealth
Do you check on yo mama
'Cause your loyalty ain't slavery sis
That s**t insulting to her bravery sis
I know you tangled
But this life is no exchange for your laboring sis
Withhold ya flavors he unsavory sis sis
I remember saying no to things that happened anyway
I remember feeling low the mirror took my face away
I couldn't recognize her I laid and cried 'til my
Tears washed the kitchen tiles I swear I couldn't budge
But then I talked about it 'til mama sister cousin
Told me they went through it and since it's in my blood
I knew I could do it 'cause if my blood went through it
I knew I could endure it I knew that I could heal it
Oh I'm trying to forgive but can't forget
It was bad it was bad
It was bad it was bad
It was the crying that was bad
It was the crying that was
It was the lying that was bad
It was the lying that was
It was the blaming that was bad
It was the blaming that was
The self-hating that was bad
The self-hating that was
It was the waiting that was bad
It was the waiting that was
It was the doubting that was bad
It was the doubting that was
It was the screaming that was bad
It was the screaming that was
The fear of leaving that was bad
The fear of leaving that was