First Heartbreak

I wanna tell you
I'm right here
But I'm still so angry even after all these years
I know your family was falling apart
So I don't blame you but I still have a heart
All of my friends and my therapist say that it's nothing and I've gone insane
Everyone says I'm a narcissist
Truth is I just haven't dealt with the blame
You chose the d**gs and now everyone else is your friend and I'm left in the flame
There's nothing like first heartbreak
Know I should move on
God knows I've tried
But I hit this strange wall without you by my side
We were forever at one point in time
The night you left me
You left me half alive
I started running got faster and faster but I just couldn't get away
All of my problems got bigger and bigger until I couldn't feel the pain
Because you chose the d**gs and now everyone else is your friend and I'm going insane
There's nothing like first heartbreak
I had to lose you to find myself
You can't know heaven until you know hell
I'll always love you even if you're gone
I'm letting go but always holding on