A Little Priest

Seems a downright shame
Shame
Seems an awful waste
Such a nice plump frame
Wot's 'is name has
Had
Has
Nor it can't be traced
Bus'ness needs a lift
Debts to be erased
Think of it as thrift
As a gift
If you get my drift
No
Seems an awful waste
I mean with the price of meat
What it is
When you get it
If you get it
Hah
Good you got it
Take for instance Mrs Mooney and her pie shop
Bus'ness never better using only pussycats and toast
And a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste
Mrs Lovett what a charming notion
Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always
Mrs Lovett how I've lived
Without you all these years I'll never know
Think about it
Lots of other gentlemen'll
Soon be comin' for a shave
Won't they
Think of
All them
Pies
For what's the sound of the world out there
What Mr Todd
What Mr Todd
What is that sound
Those crunching noises pervading the air
Yes Mr Todd
Yes Mr Todd
Yes all around
It's man devouring man my dear
Then who are we to deny it in here
All these are desperate times
Mrs Lovett and desperate measures mast be taken
Here we are now hot out of the oven
What is that
It's priest have a little priest
Is it really good
Sir it's too good at least
Then again they don't commit sins of the flesh
So it's pretty fresh
Awful lot of fat
Only where it sat
Haven't you got poet or something like that
No y'see the trouble with poet is
'Ow do you know it's deceased
Try the priest
Heavenly
Not as hearty as bishop perhaps
But then again not as bland as curate either
And good for business too always leaves you wantin' more
Trouble is we only get it on Sundays
Lawyer's rather nice
If it's for a price
Order something else though to follow
Since no one should swallow it twice
Have you anything
Now do if you're British and loyal
You might enjoy Royal Marine
Anyway it's clean
Though of course it tastes of wherever it's been
Is that squire
On the fire
Mercy no sir look closer
You'll notice it's grocer
Looks thicker
More like vicar
No it has to be grocer
It's green
The history of the world my love
Save a lot of graves
Do a lot of relatives favors
Is those below serving those up above
Ev'rybody shaves
So there should be plenty of flavors
How gratifying for once to know
That those above will serve those down below
Now let me see here I we've got trun tinker
No no
Something pinker
Tailor
Paler
Butler
Subtler
Potter
Hotter
Locksmith
Lovely bit of clerk
Maybe for a lark
Then again there's sweep
If you want it cheap
And you like it dark
Try the financier
Peak of his career
That looks pretty rank
Well he drank
It's a bank
Cashier
Last one really sold
Was and crises old
Have you any Beadle
Next week so I'm told
Beadle isn't bad till you smell it and
Notice 'ow well it's been greased
Stick to priest
Now this might be a little bit stringy
But then of course it's sound fiddle player
No no this isn't fiddle player it's piccolo player
'Ow can you tell
It's piping hot
Then blow on it first
The history of the world my sweet
Oh Mr Todd
Ooh Mr Todd
What does it tell
Is who gets eaten and who gets to eat
And Mr Todd
Too Mr Todd
Who gets to sell
But fortunately it's also clear
But ev'rybody goes down well with beer
Since marine doesn't appeal to you 'ow about rear admiral
Too salty I prefer general
With or without his privates
What is that
It's fop
Finest in the shop
And we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top
And I've just begun
Here's the politician so oily
It's served with a doily
Have one
Put it on a bun
Well you never know if it's going to run
Try the friar
Fried it's drier
No the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy
Then actor
That's compacter
Yes and always arrives overdone
I'll come again when you have Judge on the menu
Have charity towards the world my pet
Yes yes I know my love
We'll take the customers that we can get
High-born and low my love
We'll not discriminate great from small
No we'll serve anyone
Meaning anyone
And to anyone
At all