oh are you bipolar one or two? (Explicit)

The moment I turn twenty-three
I'll grab the gun my father gave to me
On my birthday when I turned seventeen
I'll lay a note right next to me that says
Split the money that I have evenly
Between my mom and my dad
I'll speak so eloquently on
What to do with each half
I'll tell Rebecca
Buy a home down the road from Cypress Grove
And I know mother you don't want me
To go but I must go
And I'll tell Mark to buy a car
Please know you're always in my heart
Even when my conscious self departs you did your job
And to Chris I hope you're smilin'
'Cause you kept the boy from dying
For almost a decade man **** what my friends say
One twitch of the finger **** around
And I'm dead weight
Don't believe what the press say
I did this for me and
No one else in the best way
To all of my friends you know
I wish you the best
And when you say my name say
That **** with your chest
And I think I should be clear I don't want
I don't wan' be here with people that
That I didn't know last year at ******* all
You don't wan' be here when I blow my top off
Girl I don't want to be here at all
At all at all at all at all
I'll put the metal to skin and
I'll go off on a whim and say
That I don't wan' be here at ******* all
I wonder if tomorrow would've been better
In all honesty it don't even matter at all
'Cause it bends it breaks it folds
And I'm here right now so just hear me out
Know I let you down but I can't no I can't
I can't change anything this trajectory
It was meant for me it was meant to be
Don't let my mom see me before they bury me
'Cause the man in that coffin **** he's barely me
Plenty people gon' say they were there for me
They weren't there for me
They didn't care for me so
I don't wan' be here with people that
That I didn't know last year at ******* all
You don't wan' be here when I blow my top off
Girl I don't want to be here at all
At all at all at all at all
I'll put the metal to skin and
I'll go off on a whim and say
That I don't wan' be here at ******* all