No Place Like London

I have sailed the world beheld it's wonders
From the Dardanelles
To the mountains of Peru
But there's no place like London
I feel home again
I could hear the city bells
Ring whatever I would do
No there's no place like London
Mr Todd sir
You are young
Life has been kind to you
You will learn
It is here we go our several ways farewell
Anthony I will not soon forget
The good ship bountiful nor the
Young man who saved my life
Alms Alms
For a miserable woman
On a miserable chilly morning
Thank yer sir thank yer
'Ow would you like a little muff dear
A little jig jig
A little bounce around the bush
Wouldn't you like to push me parsley
It looks to me dear
Like you got plenty there to push
Alms Alms
For a pitiful woman
Wot's got wandering wits
Hey don't I know you mister
Must you glare at me woman
Off with you off I say
Then 'ow would you like to split me muff mister
We'll go jig jig
A little
Off I said to the devil with you
Alms Alms
For a desperate woman
Pardon me sir but there's no need to
Fear the likes of her
She was only a half-crazed beggar woman
London's full of them
There's a hole in the world
Like a great black pit
And the vermin of the world
Inhabit it
And it's morals aren't worth
What a pig could spit
And it goes by the name of London
At the top of the hole
Sit the privileged few
Making mock of the vermin
In the lower zoo
Turning beauty into filth and greed
I too
Have sailed the world and seen it's wonders
For the cruelty of men
Is as wondrous as Peru
But there's no place like London