Poor Unfortunate Souls (Broadway Cast Recording)

My dear sweet child
It's what I live for
To help unfortunate merfolk
Like yourself
Poor souls with no one else to turn to
I admit that in the past I've been a nasty
They weren't kidding when they called me well a witch
But you'll find that nowadays
I've mended all my ways
Repented seen the light and made a switch
True
Yes
And I fortunately know a little magic
It's a talent that I always have possessed
And here lately please don't laugh
I use it on behalf
Of the miserable lonely and depressed
Pathetic
Poor unfortunate souls
In pain
In need
This one longing to be thinner
That one wants to get the girl
And do I help them
Yes indeed
Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad
So true
They come flocking to my cauldron
Crying spells ursula please
And I help them
Yes I do
Now it's happened once or twice
Someone couldn't pay the price
And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em across the coals
Yes I've had the odd complaint
But on the whole I've been a saint
To those poor unfortunate souls
Here's my best offer babykins
I know a spell that will turn you into a human for three days
Now it's got a procedural clause sort of a squid pro quo
Before the sun sets on the third day
You've got to get dear ol' princey to kiss you
If you do you'll stay human forever
And if I don't
Nothing drastic darling I'm sure
Oh look small print
Your soul is mine forever
And you're doomed to spend eternity in my watery
Hell soaked lair
Lawyers don't you just love 'em
Of course there is one more thing my fee
But I don't have anything
I'm not askin' for much only your voice
My voice but if I give away my voice how can I ever
You'll have your looks your pretty face and don't underestimate the power of body language
The men up there don't like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore
Yet on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word
And after all dear what is idle prattle for
Come on they're not all that impressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On a lady who's withdrawn
It's she who holds her tongue who gets a man
Come on you poor unfortunate soul
Go ahead
Make your choice
I'm a very busy woman
And I haven't got all day
It won't cost much
Just your voice
You poor unfortunate soul
It's sad but true
If you want to cross the bridge my sweet
You've got the pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath
Go ahead and sign the scroll
Flotsam jetsam now I've got her boys
The boss is on a roll
You poor unfortunate soul
Beluga sevruga come winds of the caspian sea
Larynxes glaucitis ad max laryngitis la voce to me
Now sing sing your voice over to me
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Sing and keep singing
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Now swim swim swim swim for your life human child
Ha ha ha