How Should I Feel (feat. Meg & Dia) (Explicit)

How Should I Feel(feat. Meg & Dia) (Explicit) - Witt Lowry/Meg & Dia
Monster how should I feel
Creatures lie here
Looking through the windows
Monster there are voices
In the darkness
And they say they won't go yeah
Stare long enough at the abyss and
It seems to start to stare back at you
Lost inside my head
Is a scary place I've adapted to
Friends and family call and
I tell 'em that I'll get back to you
Too busy on my phone doomscrollin'
Spent the afternoon
Stressed out head down
Can barely leave my bed now
I hate these f**kin' feelin's
They tell me to try these meds out
But doc we've only talked for like ten minutes I'm sketched out
Paranoid can't tell if these people are foes or friends now
You know what it feels like to feel like nobody can help
On top of that feel like you're losing yourself
I wouldn't even wish my enemies the hand I was dealt
Thought I could pay the pain
To fade with some material wealth
But tears fallin' in the tesla
I guess it's kind of ironic
To feel so f**king broke
Inside somethin' I always wanted
My demons came to play
It feels like my brain may be haunted
Hate myself sometimes as
Much as they hate on me to be honest
I saw fentanyl take the life away from my cousin
I watched alcohol steal the life away from my dad
I came from nothing
Now I'm scared that might be what I'm becomin'
Look in the mirror
Barely recognize the one lookin' back so
Monster how should I feel
Creatures lie here
Looking through the windows
Monster there are voices
In the darkness
And they say they won't go
Wrote a song when my dad
Passed and they said it was trash
That made me wish that I put
Less of myself into every track
I know you can't just burn the
Orchard when one apple is bad
But the fact of the matter is that
I feel I'm startin' to crack
And they say don't take it to heart
Well how the f**k do I not
When I put my soul inside somethin'
And they say it's a flop
Constantly tear my art apart
When this is all that I got
They wanna see me on a
Stage or me left in a grave to rot
I've been overstressin' 'bout overstressin'
I lie in bed and think about this life I manifested
Yet my depression's always
Yellin' that I'm destined for regression
Sad obsession with progression
Still they think that I'm just desperate for attention
Broke down about around this time just last fall
At therapy tellin' my therapist I feel so small
Pushed everyone I love away
And f**k it's all my fault
Is it better to feel like this
Or to feel nothin' at all
I turn the lights down lonely
Remember back when we would
Cash in cans at the grocery
Weren't there when I was drowning
But the first to say you know me
So sick of people saying that
They care and never show me
My grandpa once told me that inside
An empty mind is where the devil likes to play
And everyday it's all the same
I just stare at an empty page
Ruminate about all the things
That have piled up on my plate
Time I take control of my brain
Know I can't just pray this away so
Monster how should I feel
Creatures lie here
Looking through the windows
Monster there are voices
In the darkness
And they say they won't go
Through the windows
Monster there are voices
In the darkness
And they say they won't go