I'm Sorry

Go ahead and call me a coward and say I'm not strong
Because I'm not like you
Go ahead and call me crazy cause I live in a maze
Tell me how about you
I think I live in my head sometimes I think that I'm dead
I hide behind my youth
No I been losing my mind and I'm a little behind
Step inside my shoes
Cause I've never been happy with myself
And I don't need no one feeling bad for me
Trying to offer me pity and throw jabs at me
Wanna give me advice and then laugh at me
Behind closed doors
Just close the door let me be by myself
Just me and myself
I'm tired of living I cry I hear it's easy to die
I wanna see for myself
And I know that sounds crazy to everyone else
But I'm depressed as f**k
Stressed as f**k
Ain't no medicine that could cure what's the test as d**gs
I mean I need extra love
And that ain't even enough
'Said that ain't even enough
And where the f**k is God
God god
D**n maybe I ain't believing enough
And today we gonna see if he's real
And if he is I guess I'm probably going to hell
Look I ain't wanna die like this
I ain't picture my life like this
They don't know what it's like like this
Pretending I'm happy so I can smile like this
And laugh like you
Sometimes I wonder if I ever act like you
Could I finally fit in and maybe relax like woo
Or would you feel lost without me
Cause honestly I think the world is better off without me
And my mind's spinning this is the line finish
Truth is I don't care how they feel about my feelings
I made up my mind I'm going out like Robin Williams
I guess I'm not the Ordinary People of John Legend
And I've been suicidal since the day I was nine s**t
Okay the day I was nine
I've been tired of being bullied cuz stay out the fire
Grandma told me I should take it one day at a time
And d**n it look at me now f**k
F**k pens runnin' out
S**t fu *sigh*
*scrapping paper*
Look just know it's a new day
But if you reading this
Then it's probably too late *gunshot*
Just make sure you tell my family
It's okay I'm sorry
But it's too late I'm sorry
So much weighing on me
I don't wanna live to see another day I'm sorry
But I can't stay I'm sorry
So much weighing on me
Just make sure you tell my family
It's okay I'm sorry
But it's too late I'm sorry
So much weighing on me
I don't wanna live to see another day I'm sorry
But I can't stay I'm sorry
So much weighing on me
I hope you got what you wanted
I hope you finally happy
It's too late for you
Been going out of my mind
You don't know how many times that I done prayed for you
I hope you hear me godd**n it
Cause I got so much s**t that I wanna say to you
I used to shine now I'm all in the dark
I remember I used to tell you to follow your heart
But godd**n it look at you now it's all of your fault
How could you
Maybe it's my fault
I shoulda paid more attention to what you been doing
Maybe I should have been more of an influence
I can't believe that you're dead I fu
I read your letter and all I could do is have mixed feelings about it
But I'll forever be attached to you d**n
Part of me feels bad for you
A part of me feels like you weak and I'm mad at you
And I don't mean to be insensitive
But I don't understand how we couldn't prevent this s**t
You took the easy way out
Godd**n it you dead
I mean look what you did
I'm so f**king upset how could you be so selfish
N***a how could you be so selfish
Now you're gone you done left me so helpless
I wonder what God thinks
I hope you in God's place behaving yourself
Yo what the f**k you gotta say for yourself
Say for yourself
Look I really feel lost without you
I hate the fact you think the world is better off without you
And my mind's spinning this is the line finish
Truth is I don't care how you feel about my feelings
And I'd be lying to you if I told you I'm fine listen
I know that you can hear me all I need is like five minutes
I just wanna reach inside the casket and pull you out
I'm sorry this isn't something that we both could figure out
I wish I could hear you now
Is your soul missing
I wonder if you could do it again would you do it different
Tell me what death is like
Was it meant for you brodie
Did the heaven support it
Are you f**king happy now
Did you get what you wanted
Isn't this what you wanted
I feel the temperature falling
And you've been suicidal back day you were nine
Yeah even back then you was nine
We was living on the edge couldn't stay out the fire
Grandma told us we should take it one day at a time
And d**n it look at you now
S**t but it's a new day
And if you can't hear me it's probably too late
F**k
Just make sure you tell my family
It's okay I'm sorry
But it's too late I'm sorry
So much weighing on me
I don't wanna live to see another day I'm sorry
But I can't stay I'm sorry
So much weighing on me
Just make sure you tell my family
It's okay I'm sorry
But it's too late I'm sorry
So much weighing on me
I don't wanna live to see another day I'm sorry
But I can't stay I'm sorry
So much weighing on me
Just make sure you tell my family
It's okay I'm sorry
But it's too late I'm sorry
So much weighing on me
I don't wanna live to see another day I'm sorry
But I can't stay I'm sorry
So much weighing on me
Just make sure you tell my family
It's okay I'm sorry
But it's too late I'm sorry
So much weighing on me
I don't wanna live to see another day I'm sorry
But I can't stay I'm sorry
So much weighing on me